Lazy Days

Quite possibly the most difficult aspect of being a mother is not being able to sleep whenever I want. I have always wanted to sleep longer than the average person, and have been known to sleep for twelve to fourteen hours at a time when given the chance. Of course with little ones, I can't just say, "I'm not going to change your poopy diaper or feed you because I'm just too tired." While I was pregnant with Atticus, there were days when I was so wiped out that I would put a Baby Einstein DVD on the "repeat" setting, put a huge pile of Cheerios and a sippy cup of water on the coffee table, close off the bedroom and bathroom doors, block the garbage can, and sleep on the couch while Netty played, watched her show, and ate her snack.

In some ways I'm not as tired since having Atticus as I was when he was in the womb. And this is a very good thing, since I can no longer afford to sleep on the couch and let TWO babies fend for themselves. What it means, though, is that we have busy days and we have lazy days, and when I feel like I need a lazy day, I have one. We prolong the morning routine, and it gently breaks me in to the day.

 Sometimes I pull Netty in bed with me for a little "cuddle time." Usually, it turns into Netty climbing all over me and kicking me in the face and stepping on my stomach and pulling my hair. But while she's feeling snuggley, it's wonderful.

 She still drinks a bottle some mornings, and she lounges while she does it. 

 After finding several bottles all over the house, we made a rule that she has to stay on the couch to drink her milk. This works well, since the two babies wake up at about the same time. I heat up Netty's milk and give it to her while I feed Atticus.

 Even lazy days are busy and make me want to scream. One thing that I love about being a stay-at-home mom, though, is that I have moments like this to breathe.

Some days I just feel like this:

Adoring Sister

I wanted Netty to love Atticus, but when she didn't want to have anything to do with him for almost a month, I was a little discouraged. In the last few weeks, though, she has come to adore him. She hasn't tried to pick him up (so grateful for that!), but she will hold him with help, she won't go to bed until she's "given him loves," she worries when he cries, and she wants to involve him in everything we do--including dinner, when she tried to stick a chicken finger in his mouth.

A frequent sight at our house--Netty trying to play with Atticus while he's trying to sleep in his bed.

We had just gotten home from a shopping trip, and while Jon and I unloaded bags, Netty played with Atticus.

Every night before bed Netty kisses Atticus. Sometimes she doesn't want to kiss me, but she always kisses Atticus.

While making breakfast one morning I lay Atticus on the floor. Netty found my old phone, which is now one of her favorite toys, and had been walking around with it up to her ear. When she saw Atticus on the floor, she decided he needed to play too.

Hands Full

Remember those days when you could just run to the store "real quick," and it really was quick? Yeah, I don't either. Every shopping trip is a production.

Before making a nice anniversary dinner for Jon, I went shopping to get the last few things we needed for the dinner and to find a present for him. Jon kept the sleeping baby (for which I was very grateful). While at the store I decided to get a dress for the occasion. This was a picture that I took in the dressing room because, like many girls, I can't decide if I want to buy clothes unless I get a second or sometimes third opinion. And notice Netty in the background. This is what you have to do when you need to try something on with a toddler in tow.

I have only braved shopping on my own with the kids a couple times. My first experience was a grocery shopping trip. I parked right next to the cart return.

Thankfully, I have a wonderful baby who loves the Snugli and sleeps whenever he is in it. So at least in the store, Atticus was perfectly content.

I'm no dummy. Before we left I grabbed some graham crackers so that Netty would be happy. And then I stopped by the tortilla stand inside and grabbed several fresh tortilla samples for her to munch on once the graham crackers were gone. It was a smoother trip than I could have imagined. And every three or four minutes, another shopper would stop me and said, "You sure have your hands full!" (That's all I hear when I go out in public anymore.)

For the first time in my life, I accepted help from the bagger, but technically, he didn't even ask. He just grabbed the cart and said, "I'll help you out." By the time I had Atticus out of the Snugli and buckled in his car seat, the bagger had loaded the groceries into the back of my car and was keeping Netty busy until I could pull her out.

So then we got home. I pulled out Atticus's seat and set it on the sidewalk and then got Netty out. I walked the kids into the apartment, put Atticus in his swing, and told Netty to play with her baby stroller until I got back. She through a fit, and ran to the door before I could close it. Netty came with me back to the car, I grabbed as many groceries as I could, corralling my toddler as I went, and dropped the bags right inside the door. By this time, Atticus was screaming in his swing, and I still had several more bags in the car. I apologized to my screaming baby and ran outside to Netty, who was already halfway back to down the sidewalk to the car. I gathered the rest of my groceries, closed the trunk, and then ran after Netty (while carrying seven grocery bags), who had taken off toward the street. By the time we got back in the apartment and I dropped the rest of my bags, Atticus was hoarse, red, and sweaty. So I held Atticus while carrying the groceries to the kitchen putting away the food.

And then Netty and I had donuts for lunch.

Apparently I have my hands full.

Going Private

I have been debating this issue for a while now. I don't want to be one of those over-protective parents who has their children in total lock-down. However, I also want my children to be safe. I also occasionally post some rather personal thoughts that I don't necessarily want to be seen by everyone in the world. So Jon and I have decided (or rather I decided and Jon said, "Yes, dear") to make our blog private. This will go into effect tomorrow.

All of our family and friends are still welcome to visit our blog. I get excited to know that people are reading our blog and that you take interest in our lives. So please continue to join us. Just send me an email at jonandlindseyphelps@gmail.com ,leave a message for me on Facebook, or send me a text, and I will happily authorize you.

Storm Before the Calm

We have all heard that phrase "calm before the storm," and it always stirs up one of two thoughts: either "I can do this, I can do this," or "Oh crap." But over the last three months I have realized that there is a constant cycle of calms and storms. And lucky for us, this means that sometimes we're in the storm before the calm. I have had to keep this in mind many times over the last four months.

Some know and some don't, so here is our official announcement. Jon decided to quit school in June. It was anything but a hasty decision--we'd been talking about it and weighing our options for about a year, and we finally decided it was time. With his learning problems, a growing family, and our deepening student debt, we decided to set aside college, at least for a while. This misery caused by school was not worth possibility of "maybe someday" having a degree. We decided to stay in Rexburg and find a temporary job until our apartment lease was up (the end of October) and we decided where to go and what to do next. For two months Jon searched Rexburg for a job. He had a few interviews, but nothing ever came of them. Finally, just a few weeks ago, a position opened up at Deseret Industries. The work is boring, but Jon is grateful for the work, and we both think the training program will be good for him.

We are still far from the calm, though, because once his six months at D.I. are up, we are without a job again. Jon has applied for a custodial position in the Tacoma School District, and he is planning to apply in other Washington school districts as well. Once he has secured a job we will be moving to Washington to stay with my grandma for a few months. Her health is not great, so until we find an apartment of our own, we will be living with her to take care of her and, above all, give her some companionship.

We are excited to move forward with life, but a little nervous about what exactly that means. I've lived in Rexburg for eight years, and I'm a little sad to think about leaving. I have grown to love this community, especially our current ward. However, we are excited to live closer to family (two of my siblings and many of my relatives will be in close proximity), and we are looking forward to feeling a little more stability and permanence. All of our married life has been filled with temporary housing, classes, jobs, etc., and thinking about anything that will last more than a year seems too good to be true.

I know that life will always be busy and a little chaotic, but lately the calms last for only a few moments, and the storms last for days, weeks, and months. Hopefully we have longer calms headed our way, and I can't help but feel that those calms will come once we are more settled. I can't wait to start building a more permanent home with my husband and children.

2 For 2

Jon and I celebrated our second anniversary this week. I wish I could say that we left this kids with their grandparents and went on a romantic get-away, but in fact we stayed home.

 After putting the kids in bed, I made dinner for two.

I bought a new dress to distract myself from the fact that my shape has changed since having two children.

 Jon wore the tie and vest that he got when we got married.

And just as we were crawling into bed, the baby woke up.

These have been two busy and difficult years. We've survived two births, five moves, a graduation, two rounds of unemployment, and countless late nights wondering if we'll ever get life figured out. But I love this man, and I am grateful every day that he is a part of my life. Every day is hard lately. But I am so grateful for a loving and supportive husband who finds some way to make me genuinely smile every day.

The best decision I made was giving this man my phone number.

Birth Announcement

I apologize to those who would like a birth announcement for Atticus who will not be getting one. We simply don't have the resources to print enough for all of the people we love. So this is for you.

One Month

Atticus is one month old today, and I just can't believe it. I can't believe that it was only a month ago that he joined our family in the flesh, and I can't believe that it's been that long. I know I just contradicted myself, but it's true. Atticus went to church for the first time as well. We lasted all three hours, but by the end we were hanging on with our fingernails.

Atticus is doing very well. He is well above his birth weight and has outgrown a few of the smaller newborn outfits, a feat Netty didn't accomplish until she was three months old.

Yesterday he had his first photo shoot. Here are some of the better pictures of our little man.

To Utah, To Utah Part 1

As I mentioned in a previous post, Jonathan's grandma died, and we drove to Utah so that he could go to the funeral. I wasn't too excited to take a week-old baby to a funeral with lots of people and commotion, besides the fact that I was still exhausted beyond belief, so Jon dropped Atticus and me off in Syracuse for some R&R while he and Netty continued on to Spanish Fork. My parents had a houseful as well, but most people were gone during the day, and I was able to relax and sleep while other people held and took care of the baby. It was still exhausting, but then so is virtually everything after having a baby.

Before we left Idaho we had to pack, take Atticus in for one more bilirubin test and his PKU screening, and drop off the bili blanket at a friend's house so that she could return it for us. All the while we fought desperately to keep Netty awake so she would sleep in the car. And it worked. She slept most of the way.

We tried to only make one stop--the rest stop in the Malad Pass--but after feeding Atticus, letting Netty run around for a while, and getting back on the road for a mile, Atticus started screaming uncontrollably. We stopped at a gas station in Malad to calm him down, and he ate some more. He was fine again until Brigham City. Rather than stopping again I climbed in the back. Of course, we hadn't packed very well, so the back seat was full. So I sat on the floor between the kids. Very uncomfortable. But I took pictures of everyone so all could see that we were having fun on our adventure. As it turns out, Atticus was just cold, so I put Jon's jacket over him.

Netty did very well. When she wasn't sleeping she was looking at an Enfamil coupon book that came in my gift bag from the hospital. She loves this book.

Or she was drinking my water.....

Uncomfortable, but still smiling!

 Jon trying not to go crazy driving on the freeway with screaming babies in the back

As per tradition, Papa rocked Atticus in the famous rocking chair that has all of our names and the dates we were first rocked burned into the bottom. I think Atticus is the youngest since my niece Sierra to be rocked.

 Atticus wasn't impressed.

Despite little sleep and the somber occasion, Netty had a great time at her Great-Grandma Claudia's funeral. They were sitting in the second row pew at the church, and she kept climbing under the seat and patting the casket and trying to get the flowers.

Grandma (Jon's mom) said Great-Grandma Claudia would have been happy to play with Netty at the funeral.

From the left: Mitchell (Jon's Dad), Grandpa Dean, Paul, Craig, and Lionel

We tried to make the trip back to Idaho in one shot, but, of course, the kids had other plans. They both started screaming just before Blackfoot. We pulled off into the Blackfoot Walmart parking lot so I could feed Atticus.

Netty and Jon walked around the parking lot, checking on Atticus and me periodically to see if we were ready to get back on the road.

More pictures of the trip to come....

Growing Boy

Bathed, jammied, fed, and ready for bed!

New bedding from Auntie Beanie (aka NaDene Lemmon, my former roommate)

Close-up of Atticus in bed

Looks a little bit like the Prince John, the Phony King of England pose.

Chillin' with a pink pacifier because my parents are too cheap to buy a new one.

But it's a manly pink, right?

Another pink pacifier. Yes, he stuck his finger through the little hole all on his own.

Totally relaxed

Blah...

Getting a back massage with lotion after bath

Bright eyes at bedtime